The essense of forgiveness

*One day, the sage gave the disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes.
'Think of all the people who have done or said something against you in the
recent past, especially those you cannot forgive. For each of them, inscribe
the name on a potato and put it in the sack.' The disciple came up quite a
few names, and soon his sack was heavy with potatoes.*

'Carry the sack with you wherever you go for a week,' said the sage. 'We'll
talk after that.'

At first, the disciple thought nothing of it. Carrying the sack was not
particularly difficult. But after a while, it became more of a burden. It
sometimes got in the way, and it seemed to require more effort to carry as
time went on, even though its weight remained the same.

After a few days, the sack began to smell. The carved potatoes gave off a
ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to carry around,
they were also becoming rather unpleasant.

Finally, the week was over. The sage summoned the disciple. 'Any thoughts
about all this?'

'Yes, Master,' the disciple replied. 'When we are unable to forgive others,
we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like these potatoes.
That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a while, it festers.'

'Yes, that is exactly what happens when one holds a grudge. So, how can we
lighten the load?'

'We must strive to forgive.'

'Forgiving someone is the equivalent of removing the corresponding potato
from the sack. How many of your transgressors are you able to forgive?'

'I've thought about it quite a bit, Master,' the disciple said. 'It required
much effort, but I have decided to forgive all of them.'

'Very well, we can remove all the potatoes. Were there any more people who
transgressed against you this last week?'

The disciple thought for a while and admitted there were. Then he felt panic
when he realized his empty sack was about to get filled up again.

'Master,' he asked, 'if we continue like this, wouldn't there always be
potatoes in the sack week after week?'

'Yes, as long as people speak or act against you in some way, you will
always have potatoes.'

'But Master, we can never control what others do. So what good is the Tao in
this case?'

'We're not at the realm of the Tao yet. Everything we have talked about so
far is the conventional approach to forgiveness. It is the same thing that
many philosophies and most religions preach - we must constantly strive to
forgive, for it is an important virtue. This is not the Tao because there is
no striving in the Tao.'

'Then what is the Tao, Master?'

'You can figure it out. If the potatoes are negative feelings, then what is
the sack?'

'The sack is... That which allows me to hold on to the negativity. It is
something within us that makes us dwell on feeling offended.... Ah, it is my
inflated sense of self-importance. '

'And what will happen if you let go of it?'

'Then... The things that people do or say against me no longer seem like
such a major issue.'

'In that case, you won't have any names to inscribe on potatoes. That means
no more weight to carry around, and no more bad smells.

The Tao of forgiveness is the conscious decision to not just to remove some
potatoes... But to relinquish the entire sack.'

--
With Love & Patience, Everything is Possible.
Regards,
Zahra